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About Salzburg

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then there’s the river across Weißenbach street. That ripple of water always reminds me of life’s constant flow. I tend to get lost in thought, like oil can’t flow without its well – you know, that whole "There Will Be Blood" vibe, but with water turbines instead of oil rigs.